Chapter 6
Goodbye
Buffy and Spike walked down the main street of Sunnydale holding many shopping bags. It was three weeks before Christmas and Buffy had almost everything done. She had gotten gifts for Willow, Xander, her mom, and Giles. Now the only person left to shop for was Spike. Buffy knew what she wanted to get him but she wanted it to be a surprise so she knew she would have to come back later without him.
Things had been slowly getting back to normal in her life. Buffy went out with her friends regularly even though she always insisted that Spike accompany her. She was still seeing the supernatural therapist and she was surprised that it was actually helping her deal with everything. Her mother had returned to work full time (after Buffy was raped her mother cut back her time at work dramatically) but now six months later Buffy had insisted she return to work as the gallery needed Joyce and Buffy felt she was finally starting to cope.
Buffy had seen Angel a few times since that night at the Bronze; purely by accident mostly when walking down the main street in of Sunnydale or in one of the cemeteries but every time she had been with Spike. That hadn’t helped much in easing her discomfort. Buffy sighed deeply thinking about it looking up when she heard Spike talk.
“What?” she asked confused completely missing what he said, then looked in the direction Spike was looking in and she saw the object of her thoughts stopping right in front of her, clearly as surprised to see her as she was to see him.
“Angel,” she whispered.
“Buffy,” he replied shocked at seeing her, “Christmas shopping?”
“Yeah,” she replied softly looking down both Angel and Spike could sense her discomfort.
“I’ll get out of your way,” he mumbled before quickly moving past them and disappearing into the crowd and Buffy let out a sigh guilt ridden. She couldn’t help but feel bad; no matter what had happened between them he was still Angel and a part of her still cared and worried about him even though she knew things between them would never be the same again.
“Are you okay luv?” Spike asked laying a hand on her shoulder supportively.
“Really not,” she replied looking up at him, “I can’t keep doing this, running into him, it’s not helping. It’s making it that much worse, just when I think I’m coming to terms with everything I run into him, I see him hurt and sad and I feel guilty that I don’t feel better about everything that happened, that I can’t give him some semblances of peace by forgiving him,” Buffy took a much needed deep breath before continuing, running a shaky hand through her hair.
“I can’t have him in my life while I’m trying to heal, knowing I could bump into him at any moment. I have to talk to him,” she said quickly turning to follow where Angel had fled.
“Wait what?” Spike all but screamed, grasping her arm and turning her to face him, “Talk to him? What the bloody hell for?”
“Please Spike I need you to trust me, I need to talk to him alone.”
“Fine but I’m coming.”
“What part of alone didn’t you understand?” she asked with a cheeky grin on her face.
“Fine I’ll wait in the garden while you go in to the mansion to talk to him, no doubt that’s where he’s gone.”
“Fine,” she replied smiling feel warmth flood through her. She loved Spike’s protective nature even if it could be over bearing sometimes.
Buffy slowly made her way into the mansion. Spike was waiting in the garden as promised but Buffy was starting to wish she had let him come with her.
She was feeling nervous and unsure. She knew what she wanted to say to Angel, she just didn’t know how to say it. She saw him then standing in front of the fire place, he must have heard her approaching because he abruptly turned to face her causing her to jump back slightly startled.
“Buffy, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said taking a step forward.
“It’s okay, I’m just jumpy,” she smiled.
“Because of me,” he all but whispered.
“Yes,” she replied honestly, “I’m not going to lie to you, what happened that night has left me very on edge and I hate being this jumpy but it’s happened and I can only do so much about it.
“I want to move past what happened that night, to one day be able to forgive you but I know as long as we are always bumping into each other that’s never going to happen. What I’m asking is… I need you to leave Sunnydale; I can’t heal while I keep running into you and more than anything, I need to heal,” she explained seeing the hurt wash over his face.
“I’ll leave tonight,” he whispered.
“You don’t have to run out of town, I know you’ll need time to pack and…” she started but he quickly cut her off
“I’ve been thinking I should leave Sunnydale for a while, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave things… unfinished.”
“I need you to know that, I know in my head and my heart that if it had been you in that bathroom with me what happened never would have happened,” Angel looked shocked but relived at her admission, “I know the difference between you and Angelus, I can draw a line.”
“And Spike?” he asked, she laughed softly at this question.
“Spike is an anomaly, I can’t explain him, he has no soul but he saved me that night, he was my sworn enemy, yet he protected Sunnydale and my friends when I couldn’t, he has been there for me though everything, even with Drusilla a women he knew could never love him back. He was loyal, faithful and he loved her I have no doubt about that, he has even stopped feeding on humans,” she admitted Angel was far beyond shocked.
“I don’t know how to explain him maybe when he was sired he got to keep a part of himself, of his soul and that gave him power over his demon,” she shook her head ,“I don’t know how to explain it, guess I never will but I don’t question it cause without him I would be dead.
“I should go,” she said moving towards him placing a soft kiss on his check she turned to leave.
“Buffy?” she turned to face him, “Can you send Spike in for a moment?” she nodded at this.
“Goodbye Angel,” she whispered moving outside, “Goodbye Buffy” he whispered touching the spot where she kissed him, she may have not forgiven him yet but she gave him hope that maybe one day she would.
“You wanted a word peaches,” Angel was knocked from his thoughts at the sound of Spikes voice.
“I need you to do me a favor, I’m leaving Sunnydale tonight and I need you to keep her safe, watch out for her…”
“Always.”
“Most importantly you can’t let her give up on love,” Spike’s head shot up at this.
“What?” he asked thrown.
“What happened that night, she’ll pull away, scared of being hurt, letting someone to close, of trusting someone. I want her to find love again not to run from it, to be happy even if it’s not with me...” he whispered hurt lacing his voice, “and even if it’s with another vampire,” Angel continued looking Spike right in the eyes, Angel’s hidden message clear.
“Oh look mate you got the wrong idea, me and the slayer are just friends…”
“Promise me Spike, please.”
Spike sighed knowing that Angel was serious. “I promise,” he whispered.
“Thank you.”
Spike nodded before turning to leave, “Goodbye Liam.”
Angel shook his head at this, “Goodbye William,” Spike laughed softly before heading out into the night to join his golden goddess. Smiling brightly when he saw her waiting for him.
Goodbye
Buffy and Spike walked down the main street of Sunnydale holding many shopping bags. It was three weeks before Christmas and Buffy had almost everything done. She had gotten gifts for Willow, Xander, her mom, and Giles. Now the only person left to shop for was Spike. Buffy knew what she wanted to get him but she wanted it to be a surprise so she knew she would have to come back later without him.
Things had been slowly getting back to normal in her life. Buffy went out with her friends regularly even though she always insisted that Spike accompany her. She was still seeing the supernatural therapist and she was surprised that it was actually helping her deal with everything. Her mother had returned to work full time (after Buffy was raped her mother cut back her time at work dramatically) but now six months later Buffy had insisted she return to work as the gallery needed Joyce and Buffy felt she was finally starting to cope.
Buffy had seen Angel a few times since that night at the Bronze; purely by accident mostly when walking down the main street in of Sunnydale or in one of the cemeteries but every time she had been with Spike. That hadn’t helped much in easing her discomfort. Buffy sighed deeply thinking about it looking up when she heard Spike talk.
“What?” she asked confused completely missing what he said, then looked in the direction Spike was looking in and she saw the object of her thoughts stopping right in front of her, clearly as surprised to see her as she was to see him.
“Angel,” she whispered.
“Buffy,” he replied shocked at seeing her, “Christmas shopping?”
“Yeah,” she replied softly looking down both Angel and Spike could sense her discomfort.
“I’ll get out of your way,” he mumbled before quickly moving past them and disappearing into the crowd and Buffy let out a sigh guilt ridden. She couldn’t help but feel bad; no matter what had happened between them he was still Angel and a part of her still cared and worried about him even though she knew things between them would never be the same again.
“Are you okay luv?” Spike asked laying a hand on her shoulder supportively.
“Really not,” she replied looking up at him, “I can’t keep doing this, running into him, it’s not helping. It’s making it that much worse, just when I think I’m coming to terms with everything I run into him, I see him hurt and sad and I feel guilty that I don’t feel better about everything that happened, that I can’t give him some semblances of peace by forgiving him,” Buffy took a much needed deep breath before continuing, running a shaky hand through her hair.
“I can’t have him in my life while I’m trying to heal, knowing I could bump into him at any moment. I have to talk to him,” she said quickly turning to follow where Angel had fled.
“Wait what?” Spike all but screamed, grasping her arm and turning her to face him, “Talk to him? What the bloody hell for?”
“Please Spike I need you to trust me, I need to talk to him alone.”
“Fine but I’m coming.”
“What part of alone didn’t you understand?” she asked with a cheeky grin on her face.
“Fine I’ll wait in the garden while you go in to the mansion to talk to him, no doubt that’s where he’s gone.”
“Fine,” she replied smiling feel warmth flood through her. She loved Spike’s protective nature even if it could be over bearing sometimes.
Buffy slowly made her way into the mansion. Spike was waiting in the garden as promised but Buffy was starting to wish she had let him come with her.
She was feeling nervous and unsure. She knew what she wanted to say to Angel, she just didn’t know how to say it. She saw him then standing in front of the fire place, he must have heard her approaching because he abruptly turned to face her causing her to jump back slightly startled.
“Buffy, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said taking a step forward.
“It’s okay, I’m just jumpy,” she smiled.
“Because of me,” he all but whispered.
“Yes,” she replied honestly, “I’m not going to lie to you, what happened that night has left me very on edge and I hate being this jumpy but it’s happened and I can only do so much about it.
“I want to move past what happened that night, to one day be able to forgive you but I know as long as we are always bumping into each other that’s never going to happen. What I’m asking is… I need you to leave Sunnydale; I can’t heal while I keep running into you and more than anything, I need to heal,” she explained seeing the hurt wash over his face.
“I’ll leave tonight,” he whispered.
“You don’t have to run out of town, I know you’ll need time to pack and…” she started but he quickly cut her off
“I’ve been thinking I should leave Sunnydale for a while, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave things… unfinished.”
“I need you to know that, I know in my head and my heart that if it had been you in that bathroom with me what happened never would have happened,” Angel looked shocked but relived at her admission, “I know the difference between you and Angelus, I can draw a line.”
“And Spike?” he asked, she laughed softly at this question.
“Spike is an anomaly, I can’t explain him, he has no soul but he saved me that night, he was my sworn enemy, yet he protected Sunnydale and my friends when I couldn’t, he has been there for me though everything, even with Drusilla a women he knew could never love him back. He was loyal, faithful and he loved her I have no doubt about that, he has even stopped feeding on humans,” she admitted Angel was far beyond shocked.
“I don’t know how to explain him maybe when he was sired he got to keep a part of himself, of his soul and that gave him power over his demon,” she shook her head ,“I don’t know how to explain it, guess I never will but I don’t question it cause without him I would be dead.
“I should go,” she said moving towards him placing a soft kiss on his check she turned to leave.
“Buffy?” she turned to face him, “Can you send Spike in for a moment?” she nodded at this.
“Goodbye Angel,” she whispered moving outside, “Goodbye Buffy” he whispered touching the spot where she kissed him, she may have not forgiven him yet but she gave him hope that maybe one day she would.
“You wanted a word peaches,” Angel was knocked from his thoughts at the sound of Spikes voice.
“I need you to do me a favor, I’m leaving Sunnydale tonight and I need you to keep her safe, watch out for her…”
“Always.”
“Most importantly you can’t let her give up on love,” Spike’s head shot up at this.
“What?” he asked thrown.
“What happened that night, she’ll pull away, scared of being hurt, letting someone to close, of trusting someone. I want her to find love again not to run from it, to be happy even if it’s not with me...” he whispered hurt lacing his voice, “and even if it’s with another vampire,” Angel continued looking Spike right in the eyes, Angel’s hidden message clear.
“Oh look mate you got the wrong idea, me and the slayer are just friends…”
“Promise me Spike, please.”
Spike sighed knowing that Angel was serious. “I promise,” he whispered.
“Thank you.”
Spike nodded before turning to leave, “Goodbye Liam.”
Angel shook his head at this, “Goodbye William,” Spike laughed softly before heading out into the night to join his golden goddess. Smiling brightly when he saw her waiting for him.
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