Conversations with dead people.
An awkward silence lingered in the air between Buffy and Spike as they slowly made their way towards the Summers residence. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since Spike had first agreed to walk her home.
Buffy felt her cheeks flush when Spike met her gaze, a smirk on his face knowing that he’d caught her staring at him again. Her mother’s words flooded her mind as Spike shook his head in silent laughter. Was getting close to Spike really that bad?
Taking a deep breath, she attempted to start a conversation.
“How old were you?” Spike met her gaze, his brows drawn together in confusion.
“How old was I when?”
“When you were turned?”
His steps faltered; surprised that she would ask him such a personal question. Seeing Buffy’s awkward glances, he figured she was just trying to make small talk.
“Um… 29 I think,” he replied, counting back the years in his head.
“I would have guessed you were younger.” The words slipped from her mouth before she had time to think.
“Really?” Buffy smiled shyly, nodding.
“The watcher’s diaries said your name is…was, William?”
“I haven’t been called that in years, pet.”
“William what?”
Spike raised an eyebrow.
“No offence, pet. But what’s with all the questions?”
“N-nothing. Just making small talk. What? I’m not aloud to ask you questions now?” Buffy was rambling and Spike smiled, answering her question.
“William James Pratt.”
“Huh?”
“That was my name.”
“It’s a nice name,” she smiled softly at him.
“It’s a bloody poofters name. I like Spike. It just screams masculinity.” Spike smirked.
Buffy let out a snort.
“That or dog.”
“Oi!”
“Well it does. B-but I like Spike to.” Their was a pause of silence before Buffy continued. “So…do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No. It was just me and me’ mom, my father was a banker but he died in a horse riding accident when I was 7 and my mom never re-married,” he explained.
“What was she like?”
“She was a sweet old bird… her name was Annabel Pratt. She was a teacher right up until she got sick. W-when I was turned, she was deathly sick with cancer.” Spikes whispered words sent a chill up her spine. With a quick glance to his face, Buffy knew how much he had loved his mother and still did to this day.
Wait. Soulless vampires can’t love, but seeing Spike face told Buffy a very different story.
“I’m sorry,” she replied sympathetically.
“It was a long time ago, luv. You know, your mom actually reminds me of her.”
“I’m sure she was a lovely woman,” Buffy smiled.
“That she was…”Spike whispered, staring off into the distance. “You done playing twenty questions with me, luv?”
“I’m not….” Buffy let out the breath she’d been holding. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Was just wondering what your sudden interest is in little old me?” Spike smirked at her, the same devilish smirk that always seemed to make her head spin and her knees go weak.
She turned her gaze to the ground, trying to hind the affect he had on her.
“I just wanted to get to know you a bit better, that’s all.”
Spike’s brows creased together, not convinced she was telling him everything. Buffy was clearly hiding something from him. But he was drawing a blank when it came to trying to think of what it might be. What would make Buffy talk to him like he was a person and not just a soulless demon?
“Fair enough,” Spike shrugged. “Maybe I can ask you a few questions?” Buffy figured it was only fair, smiling, she nodded her head. Spike hoped that Buffy would give him honest answers and let him in on a few truths not just about the Slayer but about Buffy the girl.
“Shoot,” she replied.
“I know most things about your mom, but what about your dad? Where is he?”
Buffy’s features hardened at the mention of her absentee father. For a moment Spike thought she was going clam up, but she took a steady breath and started talking.
“He left when I was about 15,” she paused. “Not long after that I found out I was the Slayer. Last I heard he was living in Spain with his secretary… living the cliché.” she whispered. looking at the ground again.
“You don’t hear from him?” Spike asked, catching Buffy’s eye as she glanced briefly at him.
“Not so much,” she shrugged. “When I found out I was the Slayer, I started getting into trouble, skipping classes, run ins with the law, being out at all hours, that sort of thing.” Spike nodded in understanding. “I guess he just got sick of all the trouble I was getting into, got tired of being a dad,” she answered, saddened and annoyed at her father’s absence.
“I’m sorry, luv.” Spike’s heart broke for her. How could any person be in her life, know her and just willingly walk away. “Stupid git,” he thought.
“Not your fault. I guess he just figured I wasn’t worth the trouble,” she sighed in defeat.
“That’s rot and you know it! Buffy you were just a girl, scared and alone. He should have been there for you.”
Buffy stopped walking and met Spike’s intense gaze. She smiled, seeing that he was clearly annoyed at her father’s behavior.
“Thank you,” she whispered feeling a pull towards him, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him. That’s when reality struck and she noticed they were standing out the front of her house.
“This is me.” Spike turned to look at the dark house, noticing all the lights were switched off. Clearly no one was home.
“Your mom out?”
“Yeah, she had to work tonight.” he nodded, smiling.
“Right, well…”Spike let out an awkward cough. “You best get inside. I’ll do a quick sweep before I head home.”
“Thanks,” Buffy smiled as she leant forward, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Thanks again for…..” Buffy started nervously. “Thanks for-”
“Anytime, pet.”
Spike knew she was referring to his statements about her father and the fact that he had saved her life tonight. He smiled, nodding his head in goodbye as she headed inside, sparing him one last smile before she closed the door.
He felt giddy, almost like a young school boy with a crush, he couldn’t believe he had just walked Buffy Summers home at her request. If he had a heartbeat, Spike was sure it would be beating a hundred miles a minute for what Buffy had just done
She had kissed him goodnight “On the cheek.” His mind reminded him, but it was a kiss none the less. Spike glanced one last time at the now closed door and turned, spinning on his heels as he headed off to do as he had promised, to make one last sweep of the town before calling it a night.
Riley stepped out from behind the shadows, his eyes narrowing in anger. After seeing Buffy and Spike together at the cemetery, smiling, he thought it best to follow them home. He couldn’t believe what his eyes had seen. Buffy had actually kissed him?
He must be seeing things wrong. There was no way Buffy, his girlfriend would ever touch that filthy vampire. His eyes darkened as thoughts of that morning came to mind, she had left him with barely a kiss goodbye?
He wanted answers and he needed them now. With determination he made his way to Buffy’s front door and tapped on it, waiting for her to answer.
“Riley, what are you doing here?” Buffy asked her eyes wide in surprise.
“Was just out patrolling and thought I would stop by and see my girl,” HIS GIRL, those words rolled around her mind, was she really his girl? Had she ever been? Those were the questions she couldn’t seem to find the answers to.
“Patrolling? Alone?” She asked, slightly worried. Buffy always worried about him when he went out patrolling alone, mostly because he believed he was stronger then he actually was. A part of her knew that one day if he didn’t slow down, she was going to be the one putting a stake through his heart after some nasty got the upper hand.
“I know you don’t think it’s safe but I’m fine, see.”
“This time, maybe.”
“I love that you worry,” he said, laughing softly, leaning forward to kiss her. Buffy couldn’t stop herself from turning her head to the side, his lips coming into contact with check.
“What’s the matter?” He asked, pulling back, hurt by her hesitation to kiss him.
“N-nothing. Why would you think something was the matter?”
“Because…You’ve never stopped me from kissing you before.”
Buffy couldn’t help but feel bad, she hadn’t meant to turn away from him but every part of her felt like it was wrong to let him kiss her.
“I’m sorry,” she sighed out. “I’m just tired, it’s been a long night,” she replied rubbing her temples.
“Oh, Ok. I was worried it had something to do with Spike,” he snapped angrily, crossing his arms across his chest, clearly annoyed.
“Spike? What does Spike have to do with anything?” Buffy asked nervously, worried he may have seen them together.
“Well, I saw you kiss him,” he snapped again. Buffy took a deep breath, realizing Riley had in definitely seen them.
“ On the cheek! I kissed him on the cheek,” she corrected, starting to get annoyed at Riley.
“It’s still a kiss, Buffy. You’re my girl. Spike…that creature is beneath you.”
Buffy was shocked, shaking her head in disbelief. Had Riley really just said what she thought he had? To think she had actually believed his sweet, kind and innocent act. She had started to see him in a new light, Riley couldn’t possibly sound any more stuck up.
“It was a kiss on the check, not a lap dance, Riley.” She hissed, stepping back to shut the door in his face but he quickly stopped her.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I was a little ticked off to see my girlfriend’s lips on that disgusting vampire.”
Buffy took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.
“It was a thank you,” she calmly informed him.
“For what?”
“I got myself into a tight spot tonight… a vampire got the upper hand and Spike saved my life. If it wasn’t for him I’d be dead right now.”
“You should have told me. Are you okay?” He asked, stepping forward and placing a protective hand on her shoulder. Buffy couldn’t help but pull away.
“I’m fine,” she replied, stepping back out of his reach, this didn’t go un-noticed by him.
“Okay, well maybe we could spend some quality time together tonight?” He asked, trying to step into the house.
“Actually my mom’s not well and I promised to cook dinner and tidy the house for her so she could rest. So tonight is probably not a good idea.” Buffy replied quickly, blocking his path. She felt bad for lying but she really wasn’t in the mood to deal with him at the moment.
The truth was their sexual life left a lot to be desired, she had told herself at the beginning of their relationship that it didn’t matter but as time passed Buffy had started to crave something… more.
She had tried to get him to be more forceful with her but he had insisted on their love making to be soft and gentle. At first it had been nice but after eight months of the same routine, Buffy was beyond bored.
“Oh, I didn’t see her car in the driveway,” Riley said, gesturing behind him towards the drive way.
“She left it at the gallery; a co-worker drove her home because she wasn’t well enough to drive.” Buffy lied again, it wasn’t like her to lie but tonight it seemed like she couldn’t stop. “Bad Buffy!” she mentally scolded herself.
“Oh, well maybe we can meet for lunch tomorrow?” He suggested, hoping that she’d say yes.
“Sure,” she nodded, smiling softly.
“Great. I’ll call you in the morning.” Riley leant in for a kiss goodnight and instead of pulling back, Buffy briefly kissed him on the lips.
“Night,” she said quickly before shutting the door. She listened to Riley’s retreating footsteps as he walked down the foot path, resting her head against the front door and taking a much needed deep breath.
Why had she felt so uneasy around Riley? Buffy knew that their relationship had been strained for a while now but she had been hoping that they could work things out. But after spending just one night getting to truly know Spike, she felt conflicted.
There was a most probable chance that she was going to have to sleep with Spike and the truth was that thought didn’t sicken her anymore. Buffy wasn’t sure what had done it, but her stomach started doing little flutters at the thought of sleeping with Spike. She could feel her face flush, her palms sweat and the moisture pool between her thighs at the thought of Spike filling her, fucking her until she screamed his name in ecstasy. She shock the images from her mind and thought about the reasons why she had flinched when Riley had moved in to kiss her tonight. She felt in her heart that it was betraying Spike.
Shaking her head at how ridiculous everything was, she tried to rid her mind of any thoughts of Prophecy’s, Riley and Spike. Pushing off from the door, Buffy climbed the stairs in hopes of having a good night’s rest.
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