Realizations
Buffy sat down, her body numb and in shock. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could this be happening to her? It didn’t seem fair, or right.
What was she going to do?
She had been sitting in the same spot for what seemed like hours, but in truth had been no more than five minutes. The information she had just been told seemed to circulate around and around in her mind until Buffy could feel a migraine starting to surface. It was Giles’ voice that finally broke the silence.
“Buffy…” he started, but she was quick to cut him off.
“This is ridiculous!” Buffy exclaimed, standing quickly. To calm her nerves she started to pace back and forth. “How? How can they expect me to do this?” Buffy’s pacing stopped as she shot Giles a desperate look.
“We’ll find another way.” He informed her, willing his voice to not betray him and let his slayer know how extremely worried he was.
“Of course we will, Buffy. Don’t worry.” Willow chimed in.
Buffy only nodded in response and once again began to nervously pace.
“This is completely unfair and immoral. I mean who the hell writes these things? Don’t they know what they’re asking me to do? And what about Riley? I can’t just cheat on him, especially not with a vampire.” Buffy stopped her ranting to take a deep breath.
“I can’t do this,” tears rimmed her eyes as she met Giles gaze.
“I can’t,” she whispered, her voice cracking as she watched Giles stand and place a supportive hand on her shoulder.
“We’ll find another way. I promise.”
“What if we don’t?” Buffy took a deep breath. “I’m suppose to what? Go into a cemetery and proposition the first vampire I can find?” A lone tear slid down her cheek.
“No you couldn’t” Giles said, shaking his head.
“Damn right I couldn’t” Buffy snapped. “It’s just…wrong,” she shuddered at the thought.
“No. What I meant to say is, It can’t just be any vampire, Buffy. The prophecy says that in order to win the coming apocalypse, you will need to mate with a vampire of great power, strength an-. Just any vampire won’t do.” Giles reached for his glasses and began to scrub the lenses clean with the corner of his shirt. “It needs to be a master vampire for the… uh, transfer to be successful,” he explained, meeting Buffy’s gaze as he finished speaking.
“Oh,” she whispered, sliding down into the nearest chair, letting her blank stare fall to the table in front of her.
“The only master vampire I know is Angel and with the whole soul thing…. Let’s just say that’s a bad- Wait! Would there be a supernatural loop hole for that? I-I mean, because it’s for the purpose of saving the world and all?” Buffy asked hopefully.
If she was truly going to do this, she would rather do it with a vampire she knows and trusts.
“I’m afraid not,” Buffy’s shoulders sagged. “His curse is quite clear. The slightest moment of perfect happiness and he loses his soul. Being interment with you, Buffy, is for him absolute perfect happiness and he would most defiantly revert back to Angelus.” Giles answered, his eyes darkening as memories of Angelus surfaced.
“Of course it couldn’t be easy,” Buffy sighed in defeat. “I don’t know any other master vampires. What a-”
“That’s not completely true.” Willow cut Buffy off. “There is a master vampire living right here in Sunnydale that we know.” Buffy turned to look at her best friend, her eyes wide in shock. Willow couldn’t really be suggesting that she sleep with S-
“Willow, please tell me your not suggesting what I would have to kill you for suggesting!”
“No… maybe…”
“Spike! You want me to have sex with Spike?” Buffy’s voice rose.
“I’m just saying, IF it comes to it. Who else is there? Angel is clearly out of the question, besides you know Spike…”
“I hate, Spike!”
“He can’t hurt you. Not with that chip in his brain, well physically that is. Th-This is only a last resort idea, but I promise, Buffy, we are going to look day and night for a loop hole.” Willow pleaded Buffy with her eyes. “Please just think about it.” Buffy nodded, standing from her seat and slowly walking past Giles.
“I don’t know if I can think do this. I mean, what happens if we find no loop hole? Then what? The whole world goes to hell because I’m not willing to sleep with Spike? I couldn’t, I can’t be that selfish,” she whispered.
“Buffy, you have sacrificed more than anyone ever would in a lifetime. You could never be selfish.”
“I can’t… I can’t talk about this right now. I can’t even think about it.” Buffy ran a nervous hand through her hair. “I-I just need to get some air. I’ll talk to you guys later,” she sighed out, heading for the door and out into the day.
Buffy nervously ran her hands up and down her arms as she walked down the sunlit street. She couldn’t believe that because of an accent scroll, saying the world was going to end if she didn’t mate with a master vampire, that she was even considering having sex with Spike.
It just didn’t seem right. It wasn’t fair.
Buffy hated Spike and he hated her. They where mortal enemies. You didn’t sleep with your mortal enemy. How could anyone expect them to sleep together? Buffy shook her head, she felt like the world was having one big laugh at her expense. It was like the powers that be were up there laughing their asses off.
Taking a deep breath, she tried not to think about what might be and tried to focus on what is and right now she had classes to get to. Taking one last deep breath, she readied herself for the day ahead and headed off down the street, determined to try and make the rest of the day as normal as she could.
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