Untouchable
Cursing himself for running late, Spike hurriedly walked into the Bronze. It was already 8:15pm. Noticing with some relief that the band was still setting up, even if they were in the last stages, he begun to breathe easy again. This was something he didn’t want to miss. Scanning the crowded room he spotted Angel, Oz, Wes, Riley and Xander. Shifting his was though the crowd he made it to their table which was situated close to the stage. Plonking down on the vacant stool in between Angel and Xander he greeted all of his friends warmly before turning to his own thoughts once again. He had seen the posters plastered all over campus last week about the bands return but he never anticipated that they were this popular. He could swear almost the whole campus was here.
He had never seen them play mostly because Dru had not been one for going to the Bronze or clubs in general. She insisted that they hung out with her Goth wanna-be friends while drinking and getting high anyway possible in the local park. It was what they do Dru had told him one day. They would then lie on the damp grass, giggling and trying to name stars that they would never remember. Spike shook his head, trying to shake the memory away. To think that he thought he was happy like that.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Buffy come out from behind a rather large amplifier. Turning his full attention to the stage he couldn’t help but stare at the blonde beauty. Her hair was down, set in light natural curls and hanging so elegantly around her face. Her makeup was done with such precision that it almost looked like she wasn’t wearing any at all. Her lips were full and her eyes sparkled in the night club’s lights. The blood red singlet she wore showed off her small shoulders and her black knee length skirt swished every time she moved. Lastly her feet were covered in an ankle high boot with a clip on each side. Spike didn’t even notice the other girls take their positions. All he saw was the warm smile Buffy gave him before taking the microphone in her hand to address the crowd.
“This thing on? Oh yeah good. Wow I didn’t think so many people would show tonight.” The crowd roared with applause and a few whistles before she continued.
“Wanna thank everyone for coming. It means a lot right girls?” The rest of the band members nodded in agreement before she continued.
“I know it’s been a while since we have been here and we’re sorry. But know where back to stay this time.” The room filled with shouts of support, loud wolf whistles and a thunderous applause. Buffy, grinning proudly took a moment to scan the room before letting her eyes rest on Spike once again. He gave her a wink for encouragement as the crowd calmed down. Buffy didn’t know why but it seemed to reassure her somehow.
“I spent the summer with my dad this year. Got a lot of time to myself to reflect about my first year of collage and this next song is all about it. I hope you guys like it.” As if on cue the tapping of the drum could be heard as Faith counted them in. Buffy in took a steady breath and let the lyrics flow out of her.
Ah ahaha…
Willow begun to let her fingers move over the keys, her eyes slightly closed as she fell in one with the music as it poured out over the room. Faith and Cordelia remained still but didn’t look out of place.
Ah ahaha…
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand.
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them.
The keyboard seemed to echo though the large room as everyone remained a deathly quiet. As Spike watched Buffy sing he could see the conflict playing out on her face. The meaning of the words he knew where directed at Parker and how he brought her down. He noticed that her guitar was still sitting in the stand as she clutched the microphone stand with her hands.
'Cos I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable...
Well, contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
The fine winding tendrils that strangle the heart.
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them...
No I don't need them.
Her voice came out almost in a whisper but the words still rang out over the stilled crowd. Spike could see couples holding each other gently and lovingly as they swayed to the soft beat. No one except her and the closest people around her knew that this song was about. A song about pain and loss and a woman’s hope and spirit being destroyed by someone who said they loved her.
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable.
I'm a slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour
And untouchable.
Willow and her notes from her keyboard flowed forward as Buffy stopped singing. She bowed her head and swayed to the keyboard’s notes, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. Spike wanted to cry for her, to reach out and hold her and tell her everything would be okay. But he knew she would never let him, not yet anyway. The damage Parker had done to her was almost beyond repair. Her eyes were heavy with feeling when she raised her mouth to the microphone again. Spike just hoped one day Buffy would realize that she deserved to be loved.
Ooh.
Faith begun to tap on the drums, softly but rhythmically. It could barely be heard over the top of the keyboard and Buffy’s voice. A slight detection of bitterness came out in the next words.
Ooh, I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Ooh, I need this.
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel, sweet love of my life
Ooh I need this.
The drums seem to faze out as Buffy’s voice dropped and notes from the keyboard softened. All eyes were on her. Not that she would have noticed. All that she could feel was the weight of her words. Her voice softened again as the next words came out.
I'm a slow dying flower
Frost killing hour
The sweet turning sour
And untouchable.
Do you remember the way that you touched me before?
All the trembling sweetness
I loved and adored...
Your face saving promises
Buffy’s eyes softly closed her eyes, the words flowing out like a waterfall. She doubted she could stop them if she tried. So many painful memories came flooding back of Parker. What he said to her. All those promises that he never came though with but she believed him every time anyway. More then anything she wanted to believe she didn’t need that anymore that she was stronger and better.
Whispered like prayers.
I don't need them.
During this short pause Xander leaned over to Spike and whispered.
“Can you believe what that asshole has done to her? I mean she was always so happy but now she just seems so empty.” All Spike could do is nod his head in agreement because just like everyone else in the room he had been captured by Buffy’s voice. Faith came in with the drums again, not that anyone noticed. Everyone was fixated on Buffy.
I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Ooh, I need this.
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel, sweet love of my life
Ooh, I need this.
She opened her eyes and looked down at him, smiling. He smiled back at her but he could see that behind that smile she was still so broken.
Well, is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving...
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
You kiss me now
You catch your death.
Oh, I mean this...
He didn’t know what to think of those words. Were they meant for him? Or where they a vicious swipe at Parker? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. Up until this point, Spike hadn’t noticed or realized that Cordelia had been standing behind Buffy with a violin in position ready to play. She started playing the stringed instrument, flawlessly and Spike felt his mouth drop to the floor in awe.
Oh, I mean this...
Buffy stepped back, out of the light and Cordelia took her place. The notes flowed out stronger, bolder without Buffy’s voice there. Faith came in with the drums again and Spike could see Buffy had moved to stand near Willow, swaying in time with the music. She seemed mesmerized, enchanted. How he wished she would realize how beautiful she really was.
As the three girls faded out together, Buffy stepped forward again and the crowd went wild. Buffy was grinning, a small blush creeping onto her cheeks. She thanked the crowd about a dozen times before she reached for her electric guitar. Cordelia set down the violin and picked up her base. Spike noticed Faith count them in again and they begun to perform a recent rock/punk song. Smiling he turned to Angel.
“Cordy did well. I didn’t know she played violin.”
“A trick she picked up when she was younger I believe.” Was all Angel said before turning his attention back to the stage. Some time later Anya and Fred drifted down to the table, making small talk and getting the boys to come and dance. Spike stayed still. All he could do is watch Buffy perform.
It was 2:30 before they finished playing their last set. Breaks for the band had been short and purposeful so Spike hadn’t gotten to see Buffy at all. Not that he minded. Watching her perform was reward enough. The club had closed for the night and most of the satisfied teen’s had already left, home bound. Spike drifted out with the last of the people leaving the club and strolled over to girls who were currently loading the last of their stuff into the back of Oz’s van.
“Hey Buff, wanna ride?” He heard Willow ask as everyone piled into the van.
“No I’m good Will. Gunna walk it.”
“Are you sure?” Her friend asked, peeking her head out from the side of the van and giving her a look of concern.
“I’ll be fine Will I promise.” Buffy put the amp she had been carrying in the van with a soft thud.
“Ok. But only if your sure.” Willow replied reaching out to hug her friend.
“I’m sure.” Buffy replied. She knew she was worrying about her for nothing. After all she was a big girl. She could look after her self. They embraced each other tightly before Willow scampered to the front seat of the van saying goodbye. Buffy slid the sliding door shut and patted the door with her hand before stepping back. Spike saw Buffy smile before Faith’s head popped out the back van window.
“Hey B tonight was slammin’. I think it’s safe to say the Slayers are back!” Buffy shook her head in disbelief at her friend and watched as Oz gunned the engine and drove off. She could still hear Faith hooting half way down the block. Spike decided it was now or never.
“Hello cutie.” Buffy spun around clutching her chest.
“Oh Spike you scared the hell out of me.”
“Well at least I haven’t lost my touch.” He smiled wiggling his eyebrows at her. Buffy giggled and shook her head. Pulling the black jacket closer around herself she motioned for Spike to start walking with her. They approached the main street. Their footsteps seem to quietly echo around them as the bright lights from businesses shone out onto the empty street. Curious to know why Spike had waited she cleared her throat before she spoke.
“So I thought you had left already.”
“What? Are you kidding? Do you think I would leave before I had the chance to tell you how amazing you guys are? Coz I wouldn’t you know. You guys were amazing. It was like you have found your true calling in life luv. Singing you little heart out.” Buffy blushed at the compliment. Did he really think they were that good?
“Gosh if only we could just get one of those record companies to come and hear us play. It would truly be like a dream come true.” Spike couldn’t help but smile.
“What if I told you I could help you out with that?” Buffy stopped dead in her tracks staring at him with disbelief.
“What do you mean?”
“Well it just happens that my uncle is the manager of Doyle Records and I’m his favorite nephew, well technically I’m his only nephew.” Spike watched as Buffy’s eyes grew wide.
“Oh my God. Are you serious? Your uncle is Francis Allan Doyle?” She almost screamed in excitement.
“One and the same luv and if you want I could put in a call for you… I mean you would have to make a demo tape up for him and that plus he’s out of town right now. He only left last week and he will be gone for about 12 months he said. But once he gets back and he heard you guys I know he would be down here begging you to sign up with him.” Buffy’s mind started whirling with excitement. Oh the possibilities. Before she knew it she was rambling.
“12 months that would give us heaps of time to work on some new songs...I will have to ring the girls and tell them so we can get started. We could put the new song I wrote on the demo tape for him to listen to and oh my God this is so great. Are you sure you don’t mind?” Buffy’s face was flushed with excitement. However it was Buffy’s heart felt smile that warmed Spike the most.
“Anything for you Goldilocks. Anything.” Buffy didn’t hear the last part, she had already begun walking again, smiling from ear to ear.
Buffy had decided after she got back to the dorm that night that instead of breaking the news over the phone she needed to call a band meeting. Knowing that everyone had stayed over at the boy’s house last night she rang and organized them to meet at their mother’s house. She then quickly showered and dressed, not even bothering to eat. Jumping into her car she drove over to her mothers as fast as it was safely possible. Her mother greeted her warmly as she almost bounded though the door. Her mother had so thoughtfully made her breakfast, pancakes none the less; her favorite and they were sitting on the counter.
“Aww mum you’re the best you know that?” Her mother just smiled and left the room. Buffy grabbed her plate and settled down into a chair in the dining room, waiting for her friends to show up. She was only half way though her breakfast when they all arrived. She urged them to all sit down at the table and swallowing a mouthful of pancake she looked up at them grinning.
“So B what the five o?” Faith asked
“Well after you guys left last night I ran into Spike…” Willow opened her mouth to say something.
“Say a word Will and I’ll kill you…” Willow sighed but kept quiet.
“Anyway as I was saying I ran into Spike last night and we got talking about record companies and it turns out that his uncle just happens to be the manager of Doyle records…” She heard them all gasp in excitement and Buffy’s smile grew bigger.
“And before you all get too worked up he’s not in the country at the moment and he won’t be back for the next 12 months. But Spike said that if we write some more songs and do up a demo tape that he could make sure his uncle would take a look.. What do you ya think?”
They where all silent for what seemed like forever as she held her breath waiting for there response, when suddenly they all started jumping around screaming and hugging each other.
“Oh my God Buffy it’s really going to happen. We could be famous!” Cordy screamed hugging her; Buffy hugged her friend back tightly.
“I know I know. We just need to come up with some more material.” She said letting go of her.
“Well go do your song write-y thing then.” Anya ordered pointing to the stairs.
“Calm down Anya we have 12 months remember?” Buffy watched in amusement as her friend pouted.
“Oh my god Buffy can you believe this I mean the statistic probability of running into someone who is related to a manager who runs a record company is like…like.” She watched as Fred’s brow furrowed a sure sign she was doing calculations in her head.
“Fred chill we don’t need numbers…we need to come together and nail this. We have this, this is our ticket.”
“Yeah!” All the girls cheered at once then collapsed into fits of laughter. Their dream was finally becoming a reality and it was all thanks to Spike. The person she had been crushing on for years. The person that was now her friend. Yet he didn’t ask for anything in return and seemed to just give and give to her. She just hoped one day she could be truly open to him.
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