Time seemed to pass so slowly for William after he left Buffy in LA with Drusilla. It had been three months to the day since Buffy had told William to leave her alone. He knew that she was still staying with Drusilla, his former lover due to short exchanges between himself and Cordy when she rang. He hadn’t heard a peep from Buffy, not that it stopped him thinking about her everyday. He now stood nervously outside the hotel where he has so reluctantly left her grasping a thick file in his hands trying to pluck up the courage to go inside. The sun glimmered off the magnificent structure, making it look almost surreal.

What would he say to her? Would she be the same? Would she even want to see him? Inhaling deeply, he willed him self to calm down. Finally after ten minutes of debating with him self about whether or not he should go in he finally plucked up the courage to walk up to the from doors of the hotel and walk in. William scanned the lobby feeling a little disappointed when he only saw Drusilla look up from the reception counter.

"Spike for what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" she asked smiling softly. William walked over to her cautiously, not liking the huge space he was in.

"I... um... I've got so information I think Buffy would like to see, is she about?" He stammered nervously looking around.

"Actually she's out with Cordy at the moment. They’re due back any minute now." Drusilla replied. She could see that the slayer was nervous as hell and who could blame him. Before she could say anything else the two women walked in the front entrance giggling about something between themselves. Buffy stopped dead in her tracks the second she spotted William, the laughter stilling on her lips. She felt her new friend stop too, a look of awe on her face. William felt like he couldn't breathe she looked so radiant, so alive. All he wanted to do was reach out and touch her. Knowing better, he held his hands firmly in place.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy finally managed to utter, the shock of seeing him there was almost overwhelming. He looked so handsome, his hair slightly tussled and his button up top slightly undone. But he looked exhausted. Everyday since he had left she had wanted to call. Everyday she picked up the phone but was unable to dial the number. Now here he was.

"Um Cordy, do you wanna give me a hand with some papers?" Drusilla asked.

"Yeah, sure." She replied smiling at Buffy reassuringly before she walked past her and into the back office with Dru. When the door clicked close William walked stiffly over to Buffy, but didn’t get too close. He decided to stay at the bottom of the steps rather then climbing them to be at her level.

"I've been doing some research about your past..." William informed her bravely.

"My past?"

"Yeah remember when you said you couldn't remember your name when you were first human?"

"Yeah?" she replied questionably. William smiled at her and handed her the thick file he had in his hands. Buffy took it with much curiosity before opening it to scan though the contents. Slowly she begun to read the contents out loud, trying to vitrify the facts in her mind as she did so.

"Elizabeth Annabell Winters, born 24 of April 1780, died 12 of May 1801 age 21. Cause of death severe neck trauma and the body was drained of all its blood... it was written up as... an animal attack... Oh my God! I was to be married a week later." She pulled out a photo of herself and a well built young man. In the photo they were smiling and holding each other in a loving embrace.

"Riley." She whispered gently touching the photo of where the young man was.

"I remember thank you." Buffy said, looking down into his eyes.

"Your welcome luv, you look happy." He said pointing to the photograph.

"I guess we were." Buffy sighed.

"You guess?"

"He was a friend of my fathers, they worked together at my fathers law firm... it was an arranged marriage." she explained, the information coming to her so easily. She looked down at the photo again.

"Did you love him?" William asked. Buffy looked down at him and felt herself taking a deep breath.

"No. I cared for him, he was sweet but dull man, I um... wanted excitement and adventure in my life... Be careful what you wish for huh?" she answered honestly sighing. She placed the photo back into the file and closed it.

"Yeah... well I just wanted to give you that. I'll leave you to it." William put on his brave face and ascended up the stairs to the door. Buffy watched on in horror as panic gripped her.

"Spike." She called out desperately. He turned to face her, puzzled.

"Um... maybe we could go get some lunch. I haven't eaten yet, I thought we could catch up." She said sounding hopeful.

"That would be great." William beamed. He watched as she held her hand up in a stop motion and bounded down to the office Cordy and Dru had disappeared into. Quickly slapping the file on one of the desks near the office door she then opened the door slightly for a few moments before she shut it again. He smiled at himself when she came racing back across the foyer to join him at the double front doors.

“Shall we?” Buffy motioned as they stepped out into the warm sunlight.

William and Buffy sat in a quiet little café that Buffy had recommended, sipping coffee and eating there inexpensive lunch. Buffy placed a fry in her mouth and chewed it briefly before swallowing it. William was telling her about some of the chaos that was happening back in Sunnydale and Buffy couldn’t help but laugh.

"So how’s Dawn?" Buffy asked, taking the last few fries off her plate and stuffing them into her mouth.

"She good, she misses you." William felt himself reply honestly.

"I miss her too." she whispered, putting her head down, looking at her now empty plate.

"Then why don't you come home?"

"Spike" she warned him.

"I'm sorry we all just miss you. We want you to come back to us."

"I know I miss you guys too." they sat in silence for a moment. Buffy decided that rather then sit there doing nothing she would take a sip her coffee. That’s when she heard William laugh softly.

"What's so funny?" she asked looking up at him.

"I just haven't gotten completely used to seeing you eat normal food, drinking coffee and all that is all. Bloody weird." Buffy smiled at this.

"Yeah I'm still getting used to it myself, I had forgotten how good food could taste... Damn, look at the time. Its getting late I guess I should be heading back." Buffy said looking at her watch.

"Yeah I guess. They’re probably wondering where you are." he agreed sadly. William had insisted that he pay the bill no matter how much Buffy protested. Finally she gave in, watching mournfully as he paid the lady. The pair headed out the front of the cafe not sure what to say next. An awkward silence fell over them as they walked, each wishing that it didn’t have to end so soon. They approached the hotel all too soon. They stopped and looked at each other, still lost for words.

"So..." William started.

"So..." Buffy said looking at the ground. William took a deep breath.

"Listen I’m staying just down the street at the Omni Hotel room 217."

"Fancy." Buffy smiled.

"Yeah it's Giles doing you know him always has to get the best... um so maybe you'd like to come back with me. We could have coffee and catch up some more?" He held his breath waiting for her response, fearing the worst. Buffy desperately wanted to say yes what harm could a little coffee do? But for some reason she couldn't bring herself to say yes.

"That's probably not a good idea." She replied. William felt his heart crush but did his best to hide his disappointment.

"Yeah you’re probably right." he agreed sadly.

"I should head off. Got to call everyone back at home and that. But it was good seeing you again Buffy." he said.

"Yeah tell Dawn I'll give her a call." Buffy replied feebly. She felt terrible and could see that William was hurt by her rejection.

"Sure... take care" he smiled before he turned and started off towards his hotel.

"You too" she called out, not knowing if he had heard her. Buffy didn't understand why she had said no to him, it was only coffee. Perfectly innocent right? Deep down she knew it wouldn't be, in the few hours they had spent chatting over lunch she had felt that all to familiar pull towards him. She loved him, she always had but she feared getting close to him again. What if she opened her self up to him and only ended up getting hurt or worse what if he was the one to get hurt? She couldn’t bare the thought of it.

She looked to where he had walked away realizing she could no longer see him. She started to walk, deep in thought, knowing that Dru wouldn’t miss her for hours yet. In the past three months she had struggled with her past, the things she had seen, things she had done. Drusilla had been helping her of course but she still had the nightmares or memories as they really were... she would wake screaming, gasping for air some nights. The memory of having to dig her way out of her own coffin assaulted her subconscious deeply. But Dru was there every time to calm her and reassure her that everything would be ok. Still her thoughts would often drift back to William.

She missed him every day, she wanted to be with him but she felt she didn't deserve him. It was her justification of keeping her distance from him. She longed to go to him right now to hold him and tell him she wanted him like he wanted her. As the months had gone by she had felt her entire being going numb and more than anything she just wanted to feel again... feel anything. When she had walked into the hotel this morning and saw him standing there she had been overwhelmed, she wanted more then anything to run into his arms and hold him, tell him how much she missed him... for the first time in months she had felt... felt love.

Buffy stopped, a passing car breaking her thoughts and looked around at her current surroundings. She realized she had been walking for about ten minutes now. When she realized she was standing out the front of the Omni Hotel where William was staying, she couldn’t quite believe she had walked this way. She looked up at the building in front of her. Would it be so bad if she went up to his room? Maybe have that coffee he wanted and only coffee... Yeah right. The way she was feeling at the moment she knew if she went up there coffee would be the last thing they would be having. Yet she felt her feet carrying her over the road, into the hotel lobby and to the elevator. It was as if she wasn’t in control of her own actions. She couldn't stop herself, she didn't want to stop herself.

She stepped out of the elevator walking down the hall. She found his room easily but when she went to knock she hesitated, what was she thinking? She shouldn't be here. As she turned to leave the door to the room opened and there standing in only a towel, was William. Looking totally luscious with water droplets dripping down his hard, rippled chest, Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat. ‘Oh God!’ Her mind screamed at her. She felt moisture pool between her thighs just at the sight of him. ‘Run! Turn around and get the hell out of here’ Her mind screamed at her again but her body flatly refused to move.

"Buffy... I thought heard someone at the door. I figured it was the maid or something. Is everything ok?" He asked perplexed looking a bit surprised at the same time to see her standing there. Before Buffy could stop her self she felt herself launch herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. Walking him backwards into the room she kicked the door closed with her foot. The slamming of the door seemed to break the spell and William pulled away from her. Buffy felt herself slightly she whimper at the loss of his warm body so close to hers.

"Buffy what are you doing?" he breathed looking confused.

"Don't you want me?" She asked looking up at him her eyes begging him not to reject her. Not when she needed him the most.

"Buffy..."

"Please Spike I just want to feel...I want to feel something. Don't you want me?" She whispered afraid of the answer.

"You know I do." he replied.

"Then shut up and take me." She demanded pressing her lips against his again. William felt himself give in to his desire, kissing her back. Finally falling into what he had wanted for so long, he let his passion take a hold of him he did as he was told.     


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