Two weeks had passed and the gang hadn’t come up with anything more about the prophecy. Willow was still trying to translate the text with Giles with no avail. William was spending most of his time with Buffy in hopes that if she was around someone familiar she would remember more. So far nothing had come to her. Today they sat on the back porch relaxing. Dawn was reluctantly at school and the gang where at the Magic Box, researching and helping Giles out with the shop. They where chatting about nothing in particular, just laughing at silly jokes and making small talk.
“Will you teach me?” Buffy asked suddenly. Her eyes were full of determination.
“Teach you what luv?” William asked a little confused.
“To fight. I wanna know how.” William raised his eyebrow at her.
“If you don’t want to I'll understand.” she replied sheepishly looking down feeling slightly embarrassed.
“No I don’t mind at all luv. How about we start right now?” he said standing. He offered his hand to help her up which she gladly accepted. Pulling her self upright, the pair moved to the middle of the yard.
“Okay luv what I’m going to do is not give you any warning. I’m just going to attack okay? See how many of your fighting skills are rusty.”
“Okay.” She replied stepping across the yard a bit before turning to look at him. William came at her and as he did so she quickly spun out of the way. Turning around they circled each other and William threw a punch that was easily blocked by Buffy. Buffy then ducked underneath the kick he aimed her way. As he tensed to strike again he was slightly surprised when she not only blocked him, but landed a hit of her own directly on his nose. Reeling back his hand automatically went to his nose as if to protect it. Buffy gasped in shock and she felt guilt wash over her.
“I’m so sorry!”
William pulled his hand away and saw the thin trickle of blood that had gotten onto his hand. He quickly wiped the blood away on the sleeve of his shirt.
“Its okay luv, I’m fine.”
“I didn’t hurt you did I?”
”I’m a slayer you can’t hurt me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” William almost smiled. There was a time when the last thing Buffy would have done was apologise when landing a solid hit to his face, She would of more then likely laughed at him for being so careless. William smiled then, it was true they had been mortal enemies once but he had always enjoyed the dance as Buffy called it.
“I know, you always had a…” William started, he stopped himself quickly.
“A what?” Buffy quizzed him.
“Um… nothing. I meant to say you’ve got a mean right hook.” Buffy smiled sheepishly, slightly turning her head away, letting her hair fall gently away from her shoulder as she did so. He loved that smile he could get lost in it.
“If you want to quit, I’ll understand.”
“No, we’re here might as well go for a few more minutes.” William replied determinedly. He secretly wanted to know what she had in her.
Buffy nodded as they both got into position again, for ten minutes they spared back and forth, testing each others reflexes. Buffy gasped when William suddenly rushed at her. Instinctively as they connected, they grabbed each others shoulders and fell back on the grass. William fell on top of her with a soft thud but before he could move Buffy easily kicked her body up; she flipped them over with ease and straddled William, eyes filled with glee. William stared up at the beautiful young woman, her beautiful blonde hair framed her face and the sun almost made her hair glow. Buffy’s breath was coming out in short pants causing her body to move against his. William fought the urge of his body trying to react having her so close to him. Buffy placed her hands either side of his shoulders, which made her rub against him so blissfully. William groaned with the movement and Buffy suddenly realised how close she was from his soft lips. She could feel the hardness from within his pants against her thigh, her heart raced and she felt a warm moisture pool between her legs. William felt his breath quicken and he just knew he had to taste her. Swiftly, he pulled his hand up and placed it behind her head, crashing himself onto her lips. William kissed her softly but with some force, trying to persuade her to give him entrance. Buffy responded by opening her mouth to him and William felt her moan as their tongues massaged each other and the world around them seem to disappear.
William found his erection was pushing painfully against his zipper, he was so hard he felt like he was about to rip through his jeans. William felt Buffy rub her wet centre along his jean covered erection, making him moan again. William could hear Buffy making the most delicious noises and he felt like he was going to cum just listening to her. Buffy felt William’s hands slide down her shoulder and then up her shirt, gently coming up to thumb her nipple through her sports bra. Buffy groaned as he did this and found herself rubbing herself harder against him. William could feel her heat though her jeans, she was so bloody hot. Suddenly she pulled away from him, a look of pure shock on her face. Buffy quickly leapt up and broke eye contact with him; she turned away from him but remained where she was. William quickly stood too, brushing the grass off of his jeans, he looked at her.
“Buffy I…” She quickly stopped him.
“Don’t worry about it.” He took a step forward but before he could say another word Buffy grabbed her head, screaming in pain. As she felt her legs fall from underneath her, all she could see and feel were the flashes of memories as they erupted in her mind.
She was sitting in a chair with Spike kneeling in front of her, he was holding her hand.
“I don’t know what to say it’s, just so sudden.” she said looking at him.
“Just say yes and make me the happiest man on earth.” His eyes shone with love, pure unconditional love.
“Oh Spike of course its yes.” she replied as he placed a ring on her finger. She flung herself into his arms and he embraced her tightly.
Buffy opened her eyes to see William holding her, a look of concern and confusion washed upon his face. She was thankful that he had caught her.
“Buffy are you okay luv?”
“Were we in love?” she whispered looking up at him.
“Why do you ask?” he asked touching her face. Still the concern poured off him.
“I remember you asking me to marry you.” Buffy whispered. William smiled sadly. He remembered this memory like it was yesterday. It had been a spell Willow had done that had gone so wrong. But when Willow had reversed the spell the feelings he had for Buffy had still clung to him. Since that moment he had craved her, ached for her but never told her.
“It was a spell Willow had done and it went wrong luv.”
“Oh.” Buffy replied looking a little disappointed, lowering her head.
“But I did… I do have feelings for you, I just never got the chance to tell you, and I always thought there would be more time.” She looked up at him.
“And did I… did I feel the same?” She asked with a shaky voice.
“I don’t know, you told Dawn that you cared for me but you never actually told me anything.” he replied saddened. She nodded her head and Buffy slowly broke away from his grasp.
“I think I’m going to have a shower now.” She said and headed for the back door. She needed to think.
"Buffy." She stopped, turning to look at him, praying that she could get inside without him mentioning what had happened between them not minutes before her memory flash. It was not the case.
"About what happened before..." She quickly interrupted him.
"Forget about it... it was a mistake."
"Was it?" William’s voice cracked. Buffy could hear the hurt in his voice and more then anything she wanted to say that it wasn't a mistake. But alas, she couldn't, not now. She took a step towards him.
"Spike I don't know who I am let alone who I should be with. I can't remember you or what kind of relationship we had and I can't be with you till I can... I’m sorry." William nodded his head putting on a brave face even though inside his heart was breaking.
"Of course, I understand. You’re probably right about it being a mistake." He replied. William walked past her and into his house, avoiding eye contact with her. He knew he shouldn't have said what he said to her even though he knew within himself she was right. A part of him wanted to hurt her, make her feel the pain he had. But the other part of him scolded himself for being so harsh to her.
Buffy sighed and took an unsteady breath watching William walk past her into the depths of the house. She had never wanted to hurt him but she knew she shouldn't have let her self lose control like that, no matter how damn good it felt at the time. But when she was so close to him she couldn't think straight, every part of her screamed to take him upstairs and finish what they had started. She could feel that who ever she was before she lost her memory had wanted him.
"Good one Buffy, me and my big mouth." She scolded herself out loud. She walked into the house and headed straight for the shower. Kicking herself the whole way, knowing she had done the right thing even if he didn't.
After Buffy had showered she had headed down to the kitchen for dinner. Buffy saw William had pushed his plate aside and walked out of the room as she entered and she heard his footsteps climbing up the steps, ignoring her, Dawn had asked her if everything was alright, noticing something was amiss but she couldn't answer because she really didn't know. Buffy shrugged her shoulders at the girl and thankfully she didn’t pursue it any further. Buffy just hoped he could forgive her for being so weak and letting the afternoons events happen.
Buffy decided to head up to bed without even touching her dinner. Her mind was still spinning about everything. Flopping down on the pillow, she had thought she would never get to sleep but finally after hours of restlessness her body had gave in. It didn’t take long for dreams to over take her mind or more correctly, memories.
She felt like she was lost, wandering through a place she didn’t know and didn’t want to know, an underground chamber perhaps or a lair of some horrible beast. This dark, forgotten place of dampness and decay made her cringe as she moved through the place. Wary and confused trying to figure out where she was and how to get out, she felt a part of her knew this was all just a dream. However, another part of her warned her this place was all to real, all to familiar to her. She knew she had been to this place before.
Images jumped out at her and then faded away leaving her with the vaguest of memories. She could see candles flickering over a deep red pool… clawing fingers in the glow of light… beasts and the silvery glint of a cross. She could hear demonic laughter echoing among crumbling headstones. Faceless figures seemed to stalk her and then fade away. She suddenly was alone in an ally and without warning a shadow rose up behind her, foul and evil, a shadow as black as death, roaring through her head, her veins and her entire being as he whispered into her ear.
“I could show you things you’d never imagine; you will sleep and then awaken to see a new world through my eyes.” She could feel his cold breath on her neck and all she wanted to do was run but her legs wouldn’t move, she was frozen to the spot. He grabbed her arms roughly turning her to face him and Buffy’s eyes went wide as she looked at the pale man standing in front of her. His eyes so dark, so hollow she was sure if you looked into them long enough they would lead you straight to hell. She watched his face twist and turn. He pulled her forward roughly, his sharp teeth cut into her throat, blood spilling down her side. She screamed at the invasion only to have them muffled when his hand violently covered her mouth. She could feel her legs going weak, her heart slowing, hot tears glazing over her eyes. Her life slipping away slowly. She felt herself drop to the dirty cobblestoned ground as he released her and then watched him through blurry eyes as he cut his wrist with his own hand.
“Aww, sweetie don’t cry now. Angelus is here to take care of you.” He whispered as he lunged at her again.
Buffy sat up in the bed, hand over her neck and breathing heavy. She was confronted with two strong arms wrapping around her and she knew she was safe away from the hell in the ally. She wasn’t alone, slowly dying. She was in a warm bed wrapped in William’s arms. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest and this was comforting, made her feel alive. She knew she had been, one night very long ago she remembered she had been in that ally.
“Shh your okay luv.” Buffy sobbed into his chest, the tears taking over and she felt William rubbing her back, slowly rocking her and whisperings sweet nothings into her ears. Slowly the tears subsided and she pulled back slowly to look at him. Every part of her wanted to reach out and kiss him, to touch him but she restrained.
“What are you doing in here?” She asked wiping her tears away.
“You where screaming and I was worried. I came to check on you.”
“Who’s Angelus?” She asked knowing she wasn’t going to like the answer. But answers she had craved about herself for so long. William looked down at her with such worry in his eyes.
“Who is he? Tell me.” She demanded.
“What do you remember?” William asked gently. She looked down at the bed sheets and took a much needed breath before looking back up at him.
“I was underground in a chamber I think… there was these things… claws and teeth and blood. So much blood.” By the time she was finished she was whispering, shaking with fear.
“And then I was in an ally, I didn’t even see him coming… he just came out of no where and before I could do anything he had me… I think he bit me.” She finished looking up into his eyes.
“Did he say anything?” William prompted.
“I could show you things you’ve never imagined… something about sleep and waking… to see a new world through his eyes and then he bit me.”
“How do you know it was Angelus?”
“He dropped me to the ground… I couldn’t move… my whole body went numb, I was so weak, oh god I felt like I was dieing… that’s when he told me not to cry, that he, Angelus would take care of me… then he cut him self and attacked me.” Tears started to streak down Buffy’s face again and William held her tighter.
“I was so scared… his eyes… they where empty, hollow… so dead… what did he do to me?” she asked pulling back to look at him.
"Buffy..."
"Please I need to know." Her eyes where shinning with tears but they where also begging him to be honest with her.
“That was how you were turned luv. He turned you into a vampire.” He whispered wiping a tear from her cheek. She grabbed his bare shoulders as if her life depended on it, her eyes begging, pleading.
“Please tell me I never did that to anyone… please tell me I didn’t hurt anyone.” Buffy’s voice cracked, tears streaming down her face once again. William felt his eyes watered over as he looked at her.
“I can’t.” he choked.
“Oh god… lie to me please just lie to me.” she begged, her whole body shaking with tears now. William held her tightly still rocking her slowly, trying to comfort the woman the best way he knew how. He sat with her until she couldn’t cry no more, until she let it all go.
The next morning Buffy slowly opened her eyes only to be met with bright blue ones, ones she had come to know so well. The ones she had fallen in love with. She knew that now, she just had to find the courage to tell him. She smiled softly as she looked into them, almost letting herself get lost in them.
“How are you feeling this morning?” He asked gently pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled at him before rising up off the bed.
“Better, worse… guess I’m not sure yet.” William came and stood in front of her and he slowly reached out touching her face. She pulled away from his touch.
“Please don’t.” She whispered, moving away from him. She felt like she didn't deserve his touch, his kindness.
“Why?” He asked moving in front of her again this time cupping her cheeks in his hands.
"I don't deserve it." she whispered again looking into his eyes.
"That's rot." Buffy saw anger flicker across his eyes.
"Is it?" She asked again moving out of his reach.
"I've killed Spike; I've hurt so many people, taken so many lives."
"You remember?"
"I don't need to, I feel it." she replied, placing her hand on her chest, her eyes glassing over with the thought of it.
"Buffy your not that person, not anymore." William tried to reassure her.
"Are you sure about that? I mean how can you know?"
"Before you disappeared you started changing, even without a soul. You showed a kindness I never saw in any vampire, without a soul that is. I know you Buffy I've seen your heart and its real." He replied, looking at her with sincerity and cupping her cheeks again with his hands. A tear sprang from her eye and rolled down her cheek. William simply wiped it away with his thumb.
"God, why did you have to be so wonderful?" She whispered looking into his eyes. William smirked at this, that smirk that made her melt. William let his hands fall away and moved his lips towards hers.
“Tell me to stop Buffy.” He challenged in a husky voice. Buffy breathed in heavy, unable to form words. She looked into his lust filled eyes, she wanted this, and she wanted him. She just hoped she wasn't making a mistake.
“If you don’t want me, tell me to stop.” William challenged again. Still she said nothing as he moved closer to her.
“Do you want me to stop?” she looked up into his eyes, his lips just inches from hers now. Buffy felt her skin grow hot and her breath coming out in short pants. She could feel her heart start to race. Not allowing herself time to think, she finally spoke.
“Never stop.” she muttered as she quickly placed a hand behind his head. Their lips met, tingling with passion. Their kisses soon became desperate as if they had been waiting a life time for this. William was the first to pull away. Buffy smiled at him as he looked at her, drinking her in. She looked so young and innocent when she blushed he realised. Suddenly, William watched on in horror as Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, screamed in pain and grabbed her head in pain. Buffy’s legs went from underneath her as her mind was invaded once again, this time she felt door after door open as her whole life poured back in.
She could see bodies every where, people screaming, crying she could smell their fear, their blood and she liked it. She was in China fighting a slayer and getting the upper hand she bit into him. As she sucked the life out of him the young man uttered something to her.
“Sorry but I don’t speak Chinese.” She hissed dropping him to the ground. Now she was in New York fighting a young black man, another slayer, he was on top of her. She could hear the clanging of the train and looking up she realised she was inside a carriage. It suddenly went dark and Buffy used this moment to flip him, catching the slayer off guard. The lights flicked back on and in one swift motion she snapped his neck violently. There was so much pain, so much death and she had caused it all.
She was in Sunnydale with Angelus; she was looking at a younger Spike.
“Who are you?” he asked, looking at her with curiosity.
“You’ll find out on Saturday.”
“What happens Saturday?”
“I kill you.” She replied walking off. Angelus had left her saying she wasn’t demon enough for him cause she helped Spike stop Dru from ending the world. Now she had Xander and Willow and she was forcing Willow to do a spell or she would kill Xander.
She was standing in the sun light talking to Spike. They where fighting, Spike grabbed her hand and ripped the ring off her finger as she felt the sun start to burn her. She was some where underground, she got out but she couldn’t fight, couldn’t defend her self, she had gone to Spike for help.
So much poured into her head it felt like she would die at any moment and more than anything she wanted to scream "make it stop" but nothing would come out. That’s when she felt it, the unmistakable pounding in her chest, and the warmth on her cheeks. She knew she was alive but more then alive… she was human. Now she remembered everything. It was like the sun had finally come out from behind the cloud, she was blind no more.
She opened her eyes, scaling the room, still on her knees. She remembered the last few months and what was almost about to happen between her and William. She tried to suck in a breath but she felt like she couldn’t. Again she looked around the room trying to focus on something, anything. That’s when she saw the one person she cared for the most… Dawn, the only person before she had died who had always had time for her and not because she needed or wanted anything but just because she enjoyed her company. Buffy and Dawn had held a close bond and Buffy had found out just before she died why… Dawn had been made out of her (well her and Spike). She had felt that every time she was close to her but hadn’t been able to put her finger on it until the watcher had discovered it. Buffy tried to focus, to steady her self so she could stand on her legs. She watched as Dawn walked towards her reaching out to touch her.
“Buffy can you hear me? Are you okay? Do you remember who I am?” She asked still walking towards her. Something was different in her eyes now Dawn realised. Buffy felt herself moving away from her and even though all she wanted to do was hold her and make sure she was alright. For some strange reason she felt the need to keep her distance.
“Dawnie?” Buffy uttered in a mere whisper before her world turned black and she fell to the floor with a thud.
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