Darkness lay over the cemetery like a
black cloak. Most of the
people would be afraid to wander through the graveyard by night, but
not these
girls…
Buffy and Willow were on patrol in Rome. Since that awful day when
Sunnydale was
levelled to the ground, Buffy didn’t want to patrol
alone…and truth to be
told, none of the others would let her do that anymore.
Her grief for the peroxide blonde vampire was so strong that they
feared that
she didn’t even notice the vampires anymore, as she should.
Buffy had hardly
said a word in the last few months. After patrol, she shut herself away
in her
room.
Willow knew how she felt…She had felt it herself when Tara
died, almost two
years ago.
It was a slow night and no vampires had turned up. Willow thought that
this
would be a good chance to talk to Buffy - so she drew in a deep
breath…and
then found that she didn’t know what to say.
Buffy recognized the process and looked at her. “Is there
something you want
to talk about Will?”
The redhead looked at her best friend, took another deep breath, and
smiled.
“Yeah…I want you to know…that whenever
you want to talk about Spike…I
will be there for you! The others didn’t notice that he meant
that much to
you...oh, Buffy, I’m sure Xander would never understand
it…or Giles…”
Buffy laughed a little. “Will…you’re
babbling!”
Willow grinned. “I was…wasn't I?”
The blonde woman nodded and looked down at her feet as she walked along
slowly.
There it was again, Willow thought, even though she wasn't aware of
it…her
mournful face and the deep sadness in her eyes
“Look, Buffy, there's a bench…do you mind if we
sit down for a bit?”
Willow asked and made her way over to the bench that stood in a dark
corner of
the cemetery.
Both women sat down, and silence hung over their heads like a
transparent
curtain.
“It hurts so badly, Will!” Buffy said after a
while. “I shouldn’t say
that…but it didn’t hurt this much when my mother
died.” Tears gleamed in
her eyes as she looked at Willow.
“I’m still afraid that none of you can understand
what I felt for him…how
he always tried to cheer me up when I was down…how he made
me angry with all
his snappy comments…Oh, Willow, he could make me livid in an
instant....and I
loved him.”
Buffy looked up to the sky. “I think the worst thing is, that
when I start to
talk about him…I really realize that he is gone
forever…that he's never
coming back. That I would give everything to be with him.”
Willow's head snapped up. “You mean you would kill yourself
if you knew that
it would take you to him?”
Tears were running down Buffy's face as she nodded. “I
don’t want to live
here anymore…without him…don’t get me
wrong…I love you guys, but I feel
so alone without him…as if somebody ripped my heart out
…do you know what I
mean?”
Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy's shoulders. Buffy cried hard at
that…and
Willow tried everything she knew of to soothe her. “I know
what you mean…but
do you really think that this is the only thing to stop this
pain…it's not, I
promise....believe me, I know what you're going through.”
Neither woman knew how long they sat there on the cemetery bench,
holding each
other.
~~~***~~~***~~~
A few days later Buffy and Willow sat in a tiny café.
Neither of them said
something to the other Scoobies about the night at the cemetery. It was
their
own little secret. Buffy had to admit that she needed to talk about
Spike and
her feelings for him…otherwise she would break down.
She never talked about her real feelings - those she still hid inside.
She still
wanted to die…she still wanted to be with Spike for eternity.
“So”, Willow asked after she took a sip from her
Cappuccino, “When did you
realize that you loved him?”
“I really don’t know…I think I loved him
the entire time. But I never
wanted to admit it.” Buffy poked at her iced coffee with her
straw.
Willow nodded and gave her a sign that she should go on talking.
Buffy pushed the glass onto the table and leaned back in her chair.
“I think
it all started with your “Thy Will Be Done” spell,
a couple of years ago.
After that I always thought about his kisses, about how good his body
felt under
my fingers.”
Willow choked on another sip of her hot drink. “I thought the
“Forgetting
Spell” I performed right after that day worked?”
“I thought that, too. But every time I saw him after that I
remembered
everything…I think that had to be a sign…but I
ignored it, because I
didn’t want to fall for another vampire. I thought that he
would leave me like
Angel.”
“I doubt that, Buffy. He would never have left you like Angel
did!” Willow
replied.
“No!” Buffy snapped. “He preferred to
burn himself right before my eyes,
instead!"
“But he did it for you, Buffy! He did it so you could live on
and be there for
your sister and friends.” Willow grabbed Buffy's hand.
“…he died for you,
Sweetie!”
Tears ran down Buffy's cheeks as she looked at Willow's anxious face.
“But I
want to be with him!”
“I know that, sweetie! I do! But you have to move
on!”
Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. “I have to be alone for a
moment …please
doesn’t follow me…I promise you I'll behave
myself.”
Willow nodded and looked after her as Buffy disappeared into a side
street.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Later that day Willow became really nervous, because Buffy hadn't come
home yet
and she wasn't answering her cell phone. She called Giles in London and
told him
that Buffy was missing, but he only said that she must have needed some
time
alone, and that she would be back.
*Sure*…Willow thought. *but he doesn't know that she would
kill herself to be
with Spike…wherever he is*
A knock on the front door pulled her out of her sad thought. She opened
the door,
and before her stood an Italian police officer. “Are you Miss
Willow
Rosenberg?”
As the redhead nodded he continued. “We know that you and
a….Miss….Dawn
Summers, are the contact persons of Miss Buffy Summers, if anything
happen to
her…is that right?”
Again the redhead nodded.
“I’m sorry, but I have to tell you that she was hit
by a car.”
“Is….she?”
“No…she’s alive…but the
doctors don’t know if she will survive the
night.”
“Thank you, officer!”, Willow said and turned
around to grab her light
jacket. “I have to get Dawn.” She babbled
aloud…and the officer cleared
his throat, interrupting her. “I can take you to the hospital
if you want?”
Willow turned around and gave him a grateful smile. “That
would be nice.”
They stopped at the apartment building where Buffy and Dawn lived.
Dawn was devastated, as Willow told her about the
accident…she had already
lost her mother and one of her best friends…she
don’t want to lose her
sister as well.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Half an hour later they both sat at Buffy's hospital bed and cried. She
was
awake, but she was in intense pain, despite the drugs. She tried to
talk, but
Willow told her not to.
“Please, Will!” she gasped. “I want you
to look after Dawn when I´m gone…!”
“NO!!!”, Dawn cried. “You'll be
okay…Please Willow, tell her that she
will be okay!”
Buffy turned her head to look at her sister.
“Dawnie…you know it would be a
lie if she told me that!”
“But…but you have Slayerhealing…you
will be okay in a couple of days…right?”
Dawn asked hopeful.
Buffy closed her eyes as sharp pain shot through her body.
“Dawn?” Willow asked softly. “Would you
leave me and Buffy alone for a
minute?”
The darkhaired girl nodded and left the room with tears running down
her face.
“Can I do anything for you, Buffy?”
Buffy shook her head…”Just let me
die…please!”
Willow nodded and moved her chair closer to the bed. “I'll
stay with you till
the end…like I promised you!”
A tiny smile appeared on Buffy's face and she closed her eyes.
After a while Dawn came back and Willow left the room for a moment. She
knew
that this would be the last time that the sisters would see each other.
“I will miss you, Buffy!” Dawn whispered as she
laid her head on the bed
beside Buffy's.
Buffy tried to raise one of her hands…but she
couldn´t…too many bones were
broken…and it hurt like hell. “I know
Dawnie…I will miss you, too!”
Dawn lifted her head and looked at Buffy. “Would you promise
me one thing?”
“Everything!” Buffy replied. "Anything!"
“When you see Mom and Spike…would you give them a
hug from me…and tell
them that I love them.”
“Sure....oh, sure, I'll do that, sweetie. I love you,
Dawnie.”
Dawn laid her head back and they both closed their eyes. Within minutes
both
sisters seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep....but only one of them
would
wake.
Sunshine filled the room as Buffy woke up.
She looked around her with sleepy eyes. Everything in the room was so
white and
bright. She was in a huge bedroom, the bed she lay in was a really big
king-sized bed, and beside it there where tiny white bedside tables. A
large
mirrored wardrobe stood on one wall and two gigantic windows letting in
the
light.
Slowly she got up, and a susurration made her pause for a moment. *What
is that?*
she asked herself and looked into the mirror.
“Oh my god…I have wings!” she shrieked
and spread them as far as she could.
She turned around and made her way to the window…the sun
stood high on the sky
and the light glistened in the ocean, which she could see right in
front of her.
Palm trees were standing on the beach and in the shadow of them she
could see
some other angels.
“The view is breathtaking, isn’t it?”
said a familiar British voice and
Buffy turned around and couldn’t believe her eyes.
She didn’t say a word, all she did was run up to him and
pulled him into her
arms. “Are you real? Is this real? Is this a
dream?” she asked over and over
again.
Spike stroked her hair as she started to cry.
“Shhhhh….luv. Everything is
alright. This isn’t a dream…you are in
heaven…with me!”
She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “How?”
“How what, sweetheart?” he asked back.
Buffy tried to swallow the lump in her throat and wiped the tears from
her face.
“I mean…how did this all happen?…you
are a Vampire…the embodiment of
evil!”
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know…maybe it's
because I saved the world - and
the most beautiful woman in the world," he said, and lowered his head
till
their lips were almost touching. Spike winced and took a step
back…he didn’t
know if she still loved him…or really if she had ever loved
him.
Buffy had her eyes closed and as he drew back she opened them slowly.
“What's
the matter, Spike?” she asked and tilted her head to one side.
“I don’t know if you still want me…or if
you only told me that you love me,
because I was sacrificing myself for the world," Spike answered, and
kicked
an imaginary stone with his foot. “I know that I loved
you…and still do…damn
Buffy…I dream about you every night…of our last
night together….but I
don’t know what you really feel about me.”
Buffy closed the gap between them and looked him straight into his
clear blue
eyes. “I meant what I said in that cave…I love
you, Spike…and the last few
months were like hell on earth for me. I wanted to kill myself to be
with you.”
“But you didn’t…otherwise you
wouldn’t be here.” Spike said and kissed
her forehead.
Buffy sighed happily as she felt his warm lips on her skin.
“No…I was
walking through Rome…as a car hit me.” She paused
for a moment to recall the
whole thing. “It sounds weird…but I was happy when
the doctors told me that
they couldn’t do anything for me…I was light
hearted…because I knew that I
would see you again…somehow.”
Spike wrapped his arms around her. “So you missed me,
too?”
“Miss isn’t the right word. I mourned for
you…I couldn’t think straight
and the others wouldn’t let me patrol alone anymore, because
they were afraid
I would do something stupid.” Buffy said with a little smile
in her voice.
Buffy let her hands wander down Spike's back as she realized something,
as her
fingertips made contact with the feathers of his wings he began to
shiver. “Do
you like that?”
Spike closed his eyes and moaned silently as she let her fingers glide
over his
wing feathers. “I didn’t know that could feel so
good…oh…don’t stop….please
never stop touching me, luv!” His erection pushed against his
jeans…and all
he wanted to do was to pull her down on this big bed and take her.
“Spike?”
“Uh huh?”
Spike opened his eyes and could see that Buffy had begun to blush.
“Could we…you know?”
With a sardonic grin he tilted his head. “What,
baby?”
He knew what she meant, but he wanted to hear it from her.
“What do you want
to do…take a walk in the sunshine? Fly over the
clouds…we can do everything
we want, honey!”
“I want you!” she said and her cheeks became redder.
Spike chuckled. “You have me!”
Buffy's patience snapped. “Damn it Spike…I want
you to fuck me!”
His eyes became wide and she wanted to take back every word she'd just
said.
Ashamed, she turned around and gone back to the window.
Spike approached her from behind and wrapped her arms around her.
“I’m sorry…I
didn’t want to make you angry!”
“You always did that”, she said and laid her hand
above his.
“Yeah? In a good or a bad way?” he asked her and
kissed her neck.
This time Buffy closed her eyes and sighed.
“Both…I think. Sometimes I
wanted to kill you just so you would shut up…and other times
your words make
me angry and horny at the same time.”
She turned in his arms and cuddled against his muscled chest.
“So…can we
have sex? Or are angels not allowed to do that?”
“Only if the two angels want to spend the whole eternity
together…than they
get God’s blessing.” Spike said and kissed her
lightly on her lips.
Buffy opened her eyes after that short kiss. “Do we need his
blessing before
we… you know…or could we start right
away?”
“I don't think he'd mind if we did it without his
permission”, Spike
declared and let his hands stroke over her wings.
Now she knew what Spike meant when he told her that she
shouldn’t stop
touching him there. It was a sensation she had never felt in her life.
“OH…God…that
is awesome…please…Spike…make love to
me…I need you…NOW!!!“
Buffy's eyes closed at the first touch of his lips on hers, her fingers
curling
into his white shirt, as he wrapped his arms around her. They moaned as
tongues
came into play…and both got lost into the familiar feeling.
Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to carry her to
the bed.
“I love you, Buffy…always have…always
will!” Spike whispered. Seeing the
happiness in her eyes he ran his hands into her long, molten gold hair,
pulling
her to him for a deep, heady kiss.
Buffy flipped them over…so that she straddled his hips. Then
she set about
undoing the buttons on his shirt. One by one they gave way to firm,
sculptured
flesh below. She began to kiss and lick each inch of skin she found.
"Oh luv...." He groaned watching her slide her tongue over his
abdominal muscles, her nimble fingers undoing his belt buckle and the
fastening
of his pants. "Oh God!!!" He shouted at the first touch of her hot
mouth on his now fully exposed swollen cock head. "Bloody
Hell........." He swore his eyes rolling back into his head as she took
his
cock into her hot mouth, licking and sucking at it voraciously.
"So good." She said pulling her head away for a moment to watch him as
she continued to stroke him.
"Harder luv...squeeze me ...harder..." His voice rough with the
pleasure Buffy was giving him. "FUCK...........YEAH........." He cried
as he looked down at precisely the moment she took him into her mouth
again, her
tongue swirling around the sensitive head as her hand cupped his balls.
Buffy took her time, relaxing her throat muscles taking more and more
of his
erection into her mouth, moving her hand in corkscrew motion on the
lower shaft.
Spike always was a visual guy. He opened his eyes and look downward
taking in
the delicious sight of his girl between his tights, her ruby lips
wrapped around
his hard prick, not even realizing that her hand had dropped away from
his balls
and she was now whimpering, around his shaft, in time with his moans.
He pushed her head off his cock…he didn’t want to
cum into her mouth…not
yet anyway. This was their first time after a long time…he
wanted to make it
unforgettable…their first time as angels.
“Come here, baby!” he said and opened his arms.
Buffy slowly crawled upwards and explored his body leisurely, eliciting
quiet
moans
and sighs from the former vampire, as she mapped his chest and
shoulders with
tender kisses and gentle bites.
He pulled her atop his body for a deep kiss, his tongue entwining with
hers as
he buried his hands in her hair.
She sighed happily as Spike shifted them so she was lying under him
still
wrapped in his tight embrace. Smiling down at her, he playfully nipped
at her
lips, teasing her by leaning in and then pulling away just before their
lips
touched.
"You are so beautiful," He said gently rubbing his thumbs over the
soft, tender skin of her cheeks. “I love you,
Buffy.”
“I love you, William!” she whispered and pulled him
down for a passionate
kiss. She moaned loudly in his mouth as he sank into her warm folds.
They broke
the kiss and looked each other deep into the eyes.
Spike stilled his movement for a moment, so Buffy could get used to his
size. A
lonely tear escaped her eye as she slowly began to move her hips.
“I´m in
heaven….right now!” she whispered and closed her
eyes as Spike began to pump
his shaft slowly into her.
"You feel so good inside me, I've missed you so...." Buffy moaned into
his ears as he speed up his moves.
“Oh fuck…….Buffy it’s so
good…you feel so fucking good….your pussy
squeezing my cock…love the feel…of me sliding in
and out of your body. Oh
baby, I love you so much……love fucking you
…love the way you feel…….”
His voice was sending tremors throughout her body.
“Yes….yes…yes....” Buffy
groaned when he slid a hand down between them
and started a slow rubbing on her clit.
She could feel a fire burning through her veins…and a
chilling feeling rushed
through her body into the tips of her wings. “OH GOD
SPIKE….!!!”
Her inner muscles clamped down hard onto his cock as he stroked into
her again
and again.
“GOOD GODDDDD!!!” Spike howled and sent his seed
deep into her still quaking
body.
"Oh Buffy ....I love you so bloody much..." he said, taking in deep
gulps of oxygen as he propped himself up on his elbows, winding his
fingers into
her damp locks. He smiled down at her when she finally opened her eyes.
"I love you William, you are my world." she said, and tears rolled
down her face.
"I am yours love, as you are mine. I will be forever yours." Spike
announced and wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb.
They both laid there on the big bed for hours…doing nothing
but looking at
each other.
Finally they were back together again.
THE END